The Next Big Thing

by Gary Fearon, Creative Director, Southern Writers Magazine

This past Saturday, as I approached the TV room to eat lunch (yes, I usually eat in front of the TV; I'm all about multitasking), I heard a woman singing "O Come All Ye Faithful" on the set. There must be a Christmas concert on, I thought.  When I arrived, it turned out to be Carol Brady singing in her church, circa 1969.

It was the Brady Bunch's first Christmas as a blended family. All the kids were there, smiling proudly from the pews as their mother sang Oh come, let us adore him, Christ our Lord.  Little Cindy gave her new stepdad a grateful smile when he put his arm around her. Alice might have even been present, comically tearing up as she often did during any tender moment.

While I watched, I could only think how unlikely it would be for such a scene to appear on a modern-day sitcom. Even on TV Land, where this vintage show was airing, the newer comedies feature anything but a wholesome family unit.  If alien lifeforms tuned into today's TV they would assume that everyone on Earth is permanently divorced and cranky.

Entertainment gets less innocent and more cynical as each year passes.  We see it in books, films, music, art, everywhere we look. In a world where Hannah Montanas become Miley Cyruses, it's a fair question to ask, "Huh?"

Part of the answer is, we are wired to always be looking for the next big thing.  And, by its nature, the next big thing can't be like the old thing.  There has to be something extra, and the trend has always been to make it more extreme.

Take young adult fiction. It wasn't that long ago when Harry Potter stirred up a cauldron of controversy. A short time later, the tide turned toward vampires.  Riding the bloody waves of Twilight, there was even a book and a movie called Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.  I expect any day now to see Benjamin Franklin, Zombie Slayer.

The Hardy Boys have given way to The Hunger Games.  Nancy Drew is now Divergent.  Brilliant and imaginative, these new series replace G-rated mysteries about missing maps with dark, dystopian content.  Critics fear they encourage rebellion while fans praise them for the theme of overcoming suppression.  Either way, they're flying off the shelves.

On TV and in movies, portrayals of sex, drugs, rock & roll and violence are off the charts, alongside language that used to be considered not ready for prime time.  Edgy sells.  Controversy means publicity.

Without even debating the rightness or wrongness of any of the above, one does have to wonder where it will end.  How much further can we go before all sense and sensibility, values and virtues live only in nostalgia?

I applaud the many Southern writers we are privileged to work with who strive for something better. These are the ones who realize it's possible to grab a reader's attention without offending half their audience.  They weave a masterful tale and leave the reader feeling like they've traveled a high road and not spent the weekend in Babylon.

Wherever you are in your own journey as a writer or a reader, I invite you to buck what some call progress and follow the road less traveled. If more authors and audiences demanded it, maybe the next big thing could be a return to something that's easy to feel is gone forever.

Together we could make Alice cry more happy tears.

In Search of Titles

by Gary Fearon, Southern Writers Creative Director

Choosing the right title for a book can be as agonizing for an author as how to start the first paragraph. With an infinite pool of possibilities, how can you narrow it down to the most fitting, most irresistible title?

As always, it helps to take a cue from the pros.  In reviewing book releases from 2013, titles can be sorted into four categories:

• Simple Nouns
• Descriptive Nouns
• Situations
• Statements

Excellent examples of each can be found in our own Southern Writers Bookstore, where you'll find every author who appears in the magazine.  Let's look at a few:

SIMPLE NOUNS
A single evocative noun or nouns, conjuring curiosity.
Partholon by D. Krauss
Dollface by Renee Rosen
The Scroll by Miriam Feinberg Vamosh
Wink by Eric Trant
Moonrise by Cassandra King
Shattered by Rita Schulte
Sick & Tired by Kimberly Rae
Unseen by Karin Slaughter


DESCRIPTIVE NOUNS
Getting more specific, narrowing in on a particular subject.
Song of the Meadowlark by Sherry Wilson Johnson
Starry Night by Debbie Macomber
The Wishing Well Curse by Lynn Donovan
Shug's Place by Bob Strother
The Tempest Murders by p.m. terrell
Millie's Treasure by Kathleen Y'Barbo
The Gentleman Poet by Kathryn Johnson
Two Little Girls in a Wading Pool by Sara M. Robinson
Relative Danger by June Shaw
Tinseltown Riff by Shelly Frome
Glimpses of Glory by Peggy A. Keady
The Parchman Preacher by Michael Thompson


SITUATIONS
Identifying the central premise in the story.
Murder on the Orient Espresso by Sandra Balzo
Breach of Power by Chuck Barrett
Falling for the Lawman by Ruth Logan Herne
Taming the Sheriff by Cynthia Hickey
Being Santa Claus by Sal Lizard
Murder at Castle Rock by Anne Marie Stoddard
Quest for the Nail Prints by Don Furr
Last Chance for Justice by Kathy Macias
Looking for Me by Beth Hoffman
Death of a Dowager by Joanna Campbell Slan


STATEMENTS 
A complete sentence alluding to the idea behind the book.
Mama Was the Queen of Christmas by Linda J. Gilden
Mama Was Trashed by Deborah Sharp
The River Is Home by Patrick D. Smith
Jumpstart Your Publishing Dreams by W. Terry Whalin
Murder Has Consequences by Giacomo Giammatteo
Nothing Gold Can Stay by Ron Rash
Sometimes a Light Surprises by Jamie Langston Turner
March with Me by Rosalie T. Turner
Give the Lady a Ride by Linda Yezak

So which seems to be the most common choice?  Scanning the latest releases of the 511 different authors who've appeared in Southern Writers magazine, the percentage of those title categories breaks down into the following pie chart:

At 44%, nearly half of the titles are descriptive nouns, identifying the subject of the book up front.  That's not to suggest that one choice is better than another, but it may be a trend to consider if your current work-in-progress has a unique character, setting, or issue you can capitalize on when naming your noble novel.

Fortunate is the author who finds just the right title and never has to look back.  But you can make Christmas shopping something you won't have to second-guess by visiting the aforementioned Southern Writers Bookstore, powered by Amazon. Not only will you find the right titles for everyone on your list, you'll discover a few you can't live without either.  Happy holidays!

Who's on First?

by Gary Fearon, Southern Writers Creative Director

At the beginning of every story, the audience is ready to meet the new set of characters you've dreamed up for them.  One of the challenges in writing that opening scene can be deciding which of your characters your audience will meet first.

Protagonist, in its original Greek, means "first in importance".  While this person will be the central figure of the story, we don't necessarily need to make them the first to appear.  There will be times when it's advantageous to bring them in later.

Taking a cue from stage plays, especially musicals, the star of the show is often saved until the end of the big opening number.  In West Side Story, both street gangs establish their roughhouse hatred for one another in song and dance long before we ever meet Tony or Maria.  In many cases, this is to allow a Broadway star to make their own magnificent entrance.  But this approach can also allow for a little discussion about the hero before they arrive on the scene, if we need some advance information about their importance. 

Then again, in The Addams Family musical, the entire ensemble (complete with stars Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth) appeared onstage from the get-go.  These familiar characters needed no introduction, and the sum of the whole had much greater initial impact than if they had been introduced individually.

And there's The Sound of Music, which begins with the heroine, Julie Andrews, singing solo in a meadow.  We learn up front how much both music and the beautiful country she lives in mean to her before anything else takes place.

One of the most inventive character introductions I've ever read started with opening paragraphs describing a fellow walking through a college campus.  It spoke of him appreciating the seasonal decorations and other pleasant details, and at one point he stopped along the way to help someone.  Without a word of dialogue, and without knowing much about this fellow, we already identified with him and liked him. When this fellow arrived at his destination, which turned out to be hiding behind the girls' locker room, the tide began to turn in a very uncomfortable way.  The author had managed to make the reader bond unwittingly with the villain of the story.  Disquieting, and brilliant.

In a murder mystery, the bad guy will often appear before the hero does, if only in shadow.  By the time Perry Mason is called in, the adventure has begun and he gets to play hero from his very first scene. We never see him lounging at his desk with his feet up waiting for something to happen, because it already has.  This tactic is typical in most series, where we are already familiar with the lead character who will carry the adventure.

Who the audience should be introduced to first can sometimes be determined by their role in the story. Will everything revolve around their wants and needs, with a huge character arc taking place?  Or are they more a participant in a bigger theme (like class warfare, as in Romeo and Juliet)?  That bigger conflict may be the thing to establish first.

So whether you place your protagonist in the first paragraph or save them for a grand entrance, this most important character in your story deserves a proper introduction via fortuitous timing.

And speaking of timing, for those of you who came here expecting Abbott & Costello, why not take a break and check out the rapid-fire repartee of these vintage vaudevillians.  If you're a writer who hates to revise, you may be inspired to know that this now-classic routine was originally written as "Who's the Boss?"

The Risk a Writer Should Take

by Gary Fearon, Creative Director, Southern Writers Magazine

Whether or not you're familiar with the music of Jeff Beck, you've probably at least heard his name. After replacing Eric Clapton as a member of the 60s group The Yardibirds, he went on to become one of the most influential guitarists in rock music.  His prowess with a pick caused bands no less than Pink Floyd and The Rolling Stones to request his membership.

And yet, no one has ever heard Jeff Beck's finest performances, except Jeff Beck.  He explains that when the recording light comes on, the pressure of doing a perfect take inevitably gets in the way of ultimate artistry.  Playing in front of a live audience offers the same impediment, even for this very experienced player.  The best performances of his life tend to happen while sitting on a couch and noodling on his guitar, to no one but himself.

Without the pressure of perfection, an artist is free to try anything, and make as many mistakes as they want without consequence.  That freedom will often translate into magic.

Recently another songster said that to become a great songwriter, one should write a lot of bad songs.  The premise behind that, of course, is not to create inferior music, but to be willing to make mistakes, and to use each one as a learning tool.

Nobody likes to make mistakes, but if we adapt our belief system and recognize them as criticism-free teachers, the freedom of imperfection can be liberating.

Whether we're sitting at a piano writing a concerto or at a computer keyboard writing a novel, the same principles apply.  If we approach creativity with a strict set of rules, afraid to try new things and make mistakes, we are only strangling the muse.  Harboring that mentality, we will never achieve our best work.

Thanks to editing, a writer can make as many mistakes as it takes and go back and fix them.  Therefore, don't feel like the first draft has to be perfect.  If that was the case, there'd be no such thing as a second draft or a final draft.

Celebrate imperfection and let the magic come forth unimpaired.  Don't make the mistake of not making mistakes.  The more we make, the less likely we'll make them again.  As it has been said, making a mistake once is an accident.  Making it twice is a choice.

10 Things Writers Can Learn from Frankenstein

by Gary Fearon, Creative Director, Southern Writers Magazine

Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley was only 19 years old when she wrote Frankenstein: or, The Modern Prometheus. While she wrote an impressive number of later works including poetry, travelogues, biographies and children's stories, nothing solidified her stance in literature like the story of a boy and his monster.

If you've ever poured your heart and soul into a writing project, you know it can feel like a matter of life and death to make the right words come alive. With props to Mary Shelley, here are tips from the crypt to give your creature life.

1. FIND THE RIGHT BITS AND PIECES
For all his faults, Victor Frankenstein was a discriminating monster maker, selecting only choice cuts that made the grade. Like a postmortem Paula Deen, he'd be quick to reject, say, a lopsided brain. We must be equally willing to discard a weak plot point or a character who drags our story down.

By the same token, we can bravely borrow tidbits of ideas from the vast laboratory of literature that already exists. Be a grave robber if the spirit strikes, and dig up elements of Treasure Island or The Shining to reanimate.
 
2. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM
Mary Shelley is said to have concocted her outrageous tale in a "waking dream".  Today we call that a daydream, and some authors do their best work when they are indeed away from the keyboard. Mulling over ideas while driving, walking, or lying awake at night takes away a surprising amount of pressure.

3. DRAW FROM LIFE
Shelley's original classic contains enough death to fill a mausoleum, but so did her personal life. Her mother, her sisters, even her own daughter, had all met with untimely ends, and the women in her book were no more fortunate. Mary's familiarity with the unfairness of death permeates her pages.

4. KNOW WHAT SIZE YOUR IDEA IS
Frankenstein was originally going to be a short story, but Shelley soon recognized it had too much potential to be caged in, and needed to be fleshed out.

5. INCLUDE A LITTLE ROMANCE
It'll never be confused with Casablanca, but like most popular stories, Frankenstein contains a hint of amor to keep the ladies interested.  Even the monster communicates his need to be loved, and asks the good doctor to sew up a spouse for him.

6. SET A TREND
Dracula may claim he's hundreds of years old, but Frankenstein beat him to the marketplace by a good eight decades. Frankenstein was the frontrunner of fear, the gruesome grandfather of all monsters to follow. Would that we all could craft a story so ahead of its time that future generations of writers will be forced to follow in our footsteps. If a newcomer of 19 pulled it off, why can't we?

7. MAKE THE FANTASTIC BELIEVABLE
This tale of messing with the laws of nature is no less science fiction than The Matrix. But what makes Frankenstein the chiller that it is, is the believability factor. We're not asked to accept alien life forms or devote mental energy to learning the workings of a fictitious subculture. Instead, we're fed possibilities with some basis in truth. In 1818 scientists had already proven that lifeless human tissue could be reactivated using electricity. It was just a hop, skip and a jump away to accept that a brain could start thinking again, and what might happen if it did.

If we're going to take readers on a fantastic journey, it helps to make sure it's not so fantastic that they can no longer relate to it.

8. ENGAGE IN FRIENDLY COMPETITION 
Frankenstein wouldn't have been written had Shelley and three of her writing friends not decided to compete to see who could write the best horror story.  A little motivation, obviously, can create a monster.  Today, writers who participate in National Novel Writing Month (just around the corner) or one of the other organized events for writers have found it a fun and communal way to breathe life into a manuscript.

9. DON'T LISTEN TO CRITICS
Mary Shelley's tale of terror was soundly rejected by the first publishing company that read it. And after it was published, critics dismissed it, condemning it just as much for the fact that it was written by a young woman as for its horrific subject matter. You'll do yourself a favor if you accept up front that your creation will be hideous to certain hapless townsfolk, who may seek to torch it. But in a very short time, Frankenstein found its audience, and so will you.

10. THINK SEQUEL
The Bride of Frankenstein was only the beginning, and of course we're talking movies now. Son of Frankenstein, Ghost of Frankenstein, Curse of Frankenstein, House of Frankenstein; they only stopped short of International House of Frankenstein. The book you're writing right now could well be the beginning of a series. If you've created characters your audience can't get enough of, you don't have to stop at "The End". Leave that door partly open and you'll be able to walk right in again.

Writing isn't brain surgery, but we can take a few of these cues from Dr. Frankenstein.  If we do, we stand a better chance of being able to step back from our creation and maniacally declaring, "It's alive!"

Carved in Stone

by Gary Fearon, Creative Director, Southern Writers Magazine


While visiting favorite relatives in North Carolina this weekend, I joined them for an excursion to historic downtown Hendersonville, where their fine arts festival, Art on Main, was in full swing. We strolled the streets, encountering metal workers, portrait painters, authors, blacksmiths, and apple-flavored ice cream, though my favorite discovery was an enormous general store called Mast, a multi-story warehouse of curiosities which was like a Farmer's Almanac come to life.  Their candy department alone was a treasure trove of forgotten and obscure confections.

Taking a break from all our walking, we soon camped out on park benches next to a city building.  As I toothfully worked on my first-ever Big Hunk (a taffy-like creation of honey-flavored nougat) I couldn't help but notice a concrete memorial right in front of me, honoring Vietnam veterans. It caught my eye because of its unique shape (that of the Vietnam coast itself) and also because at the very bottom was carved "Designed by Jerry Gordon, 1947-1995".

I thought it was ironic that someone who took the time to design this tribute has himself been immortalized, to the point where his name will also be seen in this spot for generations to come.

It brought to mind that you and I will someday leave behind a legacy of our own. The question is, what will that legacy be? As writers, we may hope it will be in the form of a bestseller that's still available fifty years from now.

(clockwise from top: Poe, Hemingway, Twain and Seuss respected in their respective stomping grounds)

The great authors who came before us are not only remembered via the printed page, but were found worthy of their own memorials. The homes of Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost are popular Gracelands in their own right. Walt Whitman and Kurt Vonnegut have libraries named after them. A wax figure of Mark Twain can be posed with in more than one American city, as well as in Canada.

These beloved writers became beloved by leaving a legacy of literature that captured the times as well as  the hearts of their readers. The book you're working on right now may well become the masterpiece that defines 2013 to a generation to come.  A lofty suggestion, perhaps, but it's unlikely that Nathaniel Hawthorne ever imagined that his likeness would grace the place he used to embrace.

 

Our literary efforts may or may not earn us a concrete memorial or a statue in our local park, but it's something to strive for.  Next time you're thinking that writing is a monumental task, celebrate the fact that it actually could be.

Personally, I'd be happy if they'd just name a candy bar after me.  I like to think they already have.

Format after Format

By Doyne Phillips, Managing Editor for Southern Writers Magazine

It was 1968, I was a Senior in High School and driving a “67 Chevy Impala. It would not do until I bought and had installed a Lear Jet 8-Track tape player. It was the latest, so I thought, in music delivery systems. I would soon realize in order to hear my favorites I had collected on LPs and 45s, I would have to purchase the same artist’s music in this new format, 8-Track.

This cycle has continued. Records, 8-Tracks, cassettes, CDs and now digitally downloaded. Will it ever end? I don’t think so. I have bought the same artist on each format. The flip side is the artist enjoys new sales each time the new format comes out. What a benefit to them.

Books have followed the same trend. Books have gone from hard copy to paperback. Authors or someone with an excellent speaking voice, like our very own Gary Fearon, present the books by the spoken word on records, tape and now digital. Southern Writers Magazine offers the words of Authors in digital format with Take Five where Authors read their works. Must Read TV shares book trailers with you, much like the trailers at the movies. Southern Writers Radio Showhas interviews with various Authors on topics of great interest to writers today. Southern Writers Magazine itself is presented in online format as well as print. It is all done in order to promote and encourage authors everywhere.

What is next? It is hard to say. I have watched car manufacturers discontinue 8-Tracks, cassettes and now I understand they are going to discontinue CD players as well. Digital seems to be the current choice for music and book delivery in the spoken form.  Each change will afford writers another format in which to offer their works to their readers. Another format brings another opportunity. Change is inevitable and Southern Writers Magazine will be meeting the challenge each step of the way.                 

The Thrill is Gone

by Gary Fearon, Creative Director, Southern Writers Magazine

After enjoying my favorite Chinese buffet this weekend, I clicked open my fortune cookie to reveal the following message inside:  

Change is not just essential to life. It is life.

Surprisingly, only minutes earlier, I had decided that my blog post for today would be about change. I don't know how Confucius does it.

What I do know is that last week, I had heard several different authors express the following rather curious sentiment: They talked about how passionate they are when they first come up with an idea, and how passionate they remain during its writing, but once they finish the last page, something changes. The passion that drove them is now replaced with a certain apathy.  No longer do they feel an all-consuming desire to share their words with the world.

What is it that makes the passion go away?

• Arriving at their destination.  Their vision centered around getting the story out of their head and onto the written page. For many writers that's all they ever really asked of themselves.

• Not wanting to take the next step. The fun part -- the writing -- is behind us. You mean now we have to find a market for it?

• Fear of failure. Nobody likes rejection, especially after slaving over a hot keyboard creating their masterpiece. If nobody sees it, then we're safe from criticism.

• Fear of success. Really? The idea that anyone would actually resist success sounds unbelievable, but we creatures of habit can be funny that way. Change is inherently scary, even when it's good.

There are more passion killers, but you get the picture.  When post-writing apathy creeps in and the thrill is gone, what can we do to change it?

We can understand that what we write has a purpose far beyond what we initially envisioned. Each of us has a message that is uniquely ours. When the muse compels us to write something, it should be our mission to make sure the world hears it. No one starts a writing project with a commitment that no one will ever see it (unless it's their diary).

We wouldn't be writers if we didn't have a voice that begs to be heard.  When the writing is done, make seeing it through to its destination the part that's even more fun. The real thrill comes when your writing changes someone else's life. And someone is waiting to be changed by your words right now.

The Value of a Good Bad Guy

by Gary Fearon, Southern Writers Creative Director

Captain Hook.  Long John Silver.  Hannibal Lecter.  Darth Vader.  The Wicked Witch of the West.  Dracula.  What do these, and countless other villains from literature and movies, have in common?  Yes, they all talk kinda funny.  But more importantly, each one is infinitely more intriguing than the hero of the story.

Nothing against Peter Pan, Luke Skywalker or our little runaway from Kansas, but the truth is, you could rewrite pretty much every one of these classics and put any character in the protagonist's seat, and the antagonist would still steal the show. 

A memorable villain can take a tale to epic proportions, even if the hero is an everyday Joe, or a boring do-gooder.  Did anyone ever really cheer for Dudley Do-Right?

Even if you've never read the book or seen the movie, you can probably tell me more about the whale in Moby Dick than you can the hero of that story.  Which would be whom, by the way?  Captain Ahab?  Ishmael?  It hardly matters, because either one is a mere sardine compared to the dramatic power of the great white whale.  Readers had to wade through too much information about the fishing industry when all they really wanted was a good shipwreck.

Despite all his cool transportation and wonderful toys, where would Batman really be without bigger-than-life archenemies to go to bat with?  Superheroes become superheroes by conquering supervillains. It's always disappointing when a bad guy in those stories is just a common street thug.  Even Dick Tracy was given crooks who at least looked weird.

A Joker for every generation: Cesar Romero (1966). Jack Nicholson (1989) and Heath Ledger (2008)

And it was only half in jest that I brought up villains having odd speech patterns. Silence of the Lamb's Hannibal Lecter's intensely calculated articulation contributed greatly to his manner of menace.  One feels he's so high above us on the intelligence scale that he can suck our mind right out of us.  The cackling of a witch or the grunts of a monster define them as creatures from our nightmares.  At the very least, a foreign accent tends to take us out of our own turf and into unfamiliar territory.

Not that every hero pales in comparison to his foes.  Indiana Jones's charisma and humor managed to outshine every nemesis. James Bond steals the screen no matter who's trying to shake and stir him. Name just about any detective or mystery series and the writer has taken care to give that hero or heroine enough personality to carry story after story.  But a memorable villain only makes it better.

The bottom line is, a good bad guy is good to find.  No matter who the star of your story is, give them a villain so unique and bigger than life that when your protagonist conquers them, they will earn the title of hero.

Gimme an A

by Gary Fearon, Creative Director, Southern Writers Magazine

If you were online over the weekend, you may have come across this amusing photo from an Alabama high school jamboree, showing a banner with the message: "HOOVER FOOTBALL CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSABLE FOR RUFFLED FEATHERS."  Apparently they can't be held responsible for correct spelling either.

The kids have already taken enough beating online for their faux pas, so I'm not here to join the fray.  In fact, as a writer, I thought the creativity they expressed in the ribbing of their opponents—the Falcons—was the bigger amusement.

As an artist, however, I find it hard to overlook the barely perceptible space between words, and around the edges too.  You gotta give the banner painters credit for using all available real estate, but it brings to mind one of the most recurring problems seen in amateur book covers, that of not leaving enough breathing room around the title.

Another common mistake is choosing a font that's hard to read, and in truth, the middle lines of this banner would have benefited from the bold treatment they gave the top and bottom lines.  While I'm at it, I don't like all these people standing in the way either, but I digress.

Rather than dwell on less-than-worthy works of art, my goal today is to remind you that this is your last week to vote for the book covers you think really do make the grade.  Through this Saturday night, August 31, tell us what book covers you find most visually appealing, intriguing, entrancing.  They can be any book ... recent releases, a few years old, even your own book cover (hey, if you got it, flaunt it).  In the November issue we'll show you the books that lead the pack, and better still, we'll talk to the authors and artists about how they designed their winning covers.

What's in it for you (besides what's certain to be an enlightening and inspiring article)?  Everyone who votes is automatically entered in a drawing for one of 10 online subscriptions we'll be giving away next week. So rummage through your bookshelf, or your local bookstore, or better yet, visit the Southern Writers Bookstore right now and pick out up to five covers that catch your eye.

Then swing by http://covers.southernwritersmagazine.com and simply fill in your entry form to win. Your favorite authors will appreciate the nod, and it could be a banner year for you too.

Speech! Speech!

by Gary Fearon, Southern Writers Creative Director

While surfing channels this weekend I came upon an exciting scene that made me stop and watch. A building was on fire, and inside the building was a hostage situation.  The show was a TV action/drama series I'd never seen before but had been meaning to check out, so I stayed with it for a while.

The fire effects were well done (no pun intended) and the tension was immediate and inescapable.  That is, until the fire chief handed his microphone to a negotiator to try to talk the captor into coming out of the inferno. The monologue that followed was unrealistic and awkward as this fellow lit into a long, slow, what-is-the-meaning-of-life soliloquy that would have put Shakespeare to sleep.

More consumed now with the fakery of the dialogue than any action on-screen, I was jarred back to my own reality, in which I soon became aware of something rather interesting: If it had been George Clooney or Anthony Hopkins uttering those same words on a movie screen, it wouldn't have seemed inappropriate at all. Up on the silver screen we're used to big, show-stopping speeches, and we accept them at face value.  Somehow a TV drama doesn't pull off bigger-than-life behavior with quite the same grace.

Which got me thinking about the limitations and liberties of the different mediums and genres we write in.  The characteristics that make each one unique have certain parameters that, when crossed too far, seem inherently unnatural.

We're all familiar with certain "message" episodes of sitcoms we remember fondly.  From Happy Days to Cosby to Rosanne to Full House, you could often see the wheels turning as an episode dealt with some social issue.  There would always be one character who was an expert on the subject and got to step up on their soapbox.  When these sitcoms didn't stick to comedy, we appreciated their attempt to make the world a better place, but it often didn't feel like the right place and time.

One of the longest-running crime dramas still in production is a great show except when one of the detectives tells another cop, "Until we get these drug traffickers off the streets for good, kids will never be safe from the 24% chance that they'll be offered their first fix before the age of 13."

Whether it's a noble effort to be applauded, or a lazy writer's way of seeming more meaningful, we can spot heavy-handed dialogue a mile away, and would do well to avoid giving our readers the same cause for complaint.  Even if we do have a point to make, the heavier the message, the more necessary it is to do it with finesse.  

Develop a talent for gracefully edifying your audience while they think they're just being entertained, and you have a chance to become one of the 2% of authors who will sell more than 500 copies in 2013.